Wait, What?
by Ari-Ink98
Summary: A series of one-shots of things in Frozen that didn't quite make sense.
1. So There's That

**Disclaimer: I do not own Frozen. All rights go to Walt Disney's Animation.**

Hans walked into the room where all the foreign dignitaries sat and collapsed into a chair dramatically.

"Prince Hans!" they exclaimed rushing over to him, "What happened?"

The prince of the Southern Isles wore a look drowning in grief as he shakily said, "Princess Anna is dead."

The men surrounding him gasped in shock, "How?"

"Her sister, Queen Elsa froze her heart," he explained, staring blankly ahead. "Luckily, we managed to somehow, miraculously exchange our wedding vows before she died in my arms."

A short mustached man furrowed his thick brows in confusion, "But if she died that quickly, how did she have enough energy to exchange vows?"

"I agree," another man said in a thick accent, "Why didn't she save her strength to come get help? That would make more sense, no?" He looked at the men around him for approval and they all nodded.

A third man held up a hand, "Wouldn't you need a priest to confirm the legality of your marriage? She _is_ a princess."

Hans shook his head at all the questions, "No. Anna _really_ wanted to get married. Who am I to deny a princess her dying wish?"

"Well, what room is her body in?" the mustached man questioned.

"Um," Hans hesitated, racking his brain for an excuse. "When Anna froze, her uh, her body shattered into...crystals. Yeah, that's it. Crystals. The icy kind. And, uh, they melted." He laughed nervously, "So, um, yeah. No body. Not anymore, anyway."

"Okay," the men said slowly, murmuring amongst themselves. "So what do we do now?"

"Since I married Anna, I'm now king. So as king of Arendelle, my first order of business is the punishment of death be bestowed upon Queen Elsa for treason and the murder of the princess."

"Wait, wait, wait," the heavily accented man said. "You want to _kill_ Queen Elsa? Without evidence of any treason committed."

"But," Hans whined, "but I saw it! We have to kill her!" He thought a moment before saying, "I'm the king! My orders _cannot_ be questioned!"

The baffled men exchanged glances, "Uh, something seems off here."

Before Hans could argue, there was a knock at the door. It slid open, revealing the short snowman, Olaf.

"Oh, hi!" he exclaimed to the gaping group. "Just wanted to let you know, Princess Anna is very much alive. She could really use some help though. She's kind of freezing from the inside out and there was something else too." Olaf rubbed his chin with a wooden arm, "Oh, yeah!" he brightened up, "She said to say that someone named Hans, whoever that is!" He laughed, "He tried to kill her. So, yeah. There's _that_."

Everyone in the room turned to a wide eyed Hans in shock. _Uh, oh._


	2. No Questions

"While I'm gone, I'm leaving Prince Hans in charge of Arendelle," Princess Anna said as she hopped atop her horse, preparing to go find her sister.

Hans stood off to the side, back straightening in approval of the princess's excellent leadership. That is, before a civilian spoke up.

"Wait, who is Prince Hans?"

"What?" Anna asked, glancing through the crowd.

"Who's Prince Hans?" The group of villagers spread apart to reveal the speaker: a tall man with brown hair, standing next to a woman holding a bundled baby.

"Uh," Hans addressed the man, "That would be me."

"Okay," the man said slowly, "but who are you?"

"He's a prince of the Southern Isles," Anna said. "I just met him tonight, but don't worry he is totally trustworthy. I know him better than anyone else." She smiled dreamily at Hans, "He likes sandwiches."

The man looked at Anna in confusion, "You're going to leave us in the care of someone you just met? You're the princess! Shouldn't your judgment be a little more well thought out?"

Hans edged closer to one his men before asking the villager, "What is your name, good sir?"

"Bob," the man said with furrowed brows.

Hans nodded with a smile, before nudging his man's arm and saying, "Write down his name."

"I'm sorry, but I've got to go now!" Anna exclaimed, trotting away on her horse.

"But Princess Anna!" multiple people yelled after her.

Hans cleared his throat, "Who just spoke?" He studied the crowd as a few hands rose. "Uh huh," Hans said, "And what are your names?"

One by one, names were spouted off before a nodding Hans.

"Write down their names," Hans hissed to the man on his left with narrowed eyes.

Hans smiled at the crowd, "Those who spoke, please follow me to the castle."

The villagers exchanged curious glances, then followed the prince. Once in the castle, doors shut tightly and soudly, Hans skipped beside each person, tapping their heads while singing, "Treason charges for you and you and you and you."

Jaws fell and eyes widened at the prince as he disappeared around the corner.

The two men that had took down names hooted. "That's why you don't question Hans!" they exclaimed, high-fiving as everyone was dragged away.

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**A/N: **

**By my teasing you would think I didn't like this movie. I did though. But it just so happens to be super fun to point out the ridiculous plot holes.**


	3. Bows?

"Alright, here's the plan," Hans addressed his makeshift army. "Today we are going to storm her Majesty's castle," he held up an arm holding a long wooden bow, eyebrow cocked, "with _these_."

His men stared at the object with furrowed brows, exchanging confused glances between them.

"Any questions?" Hans asked, not really asking. He was that confident in his plan. It was bullet-proof! What else was bullet-proof? Nothing that had been invented yet!

"I have a question," a man spoke up, raising an arm.

Hans rolled his eyes, grin sliding from his face, "What, Phil?"

Phil rubbed the back of his neatly groomed head, eyes downcast, "Um, I was just wondering...how did you find the queen's castle?"

Hans' gaze turned to steel, "I'm afraid that's classified, Phil."

Another hand shot up, "Yes, hello, Prince Hans. I'm Tim and I was curious if there was a reason as to why exactly we are using bows in place of rifles...?"

Oh. That thought hadn't occurred to Hans. That was actually quite brilliant. Well, this soldier obviously couldn't upstage him, so bows it was. Common sense be damned.

"Because I said so," Hans answered with a smile. "Any other questions? No? Wonderful! Then off we go to over through- I mean, " he laughed nervously. "to bring the queen back to her rightful throne, of course."

Wariness spread throughout the crowd but the men ultimately shrugged and followed their leader out of the castle's large doors and toward their deranged queen.

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**A/N:**

**I'm sorry I haven't updated this ridiculous collection of one-shots in forever! I wanted to watch the movie again to refresh my memory and get new ideas and time just got away from me. Also, thanks M.R. Fatter (If you're still around) for the idea! I never really thought about that before but it seems really obvious now. Anyway, thanks for sticking around and I promise there will be more updates soon.**


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